pola asuh anak

Pola Asuh Anak 

By. Kongkoh

Hal penting yang perlu diperhatikan oleh para orang tua atas kehadiran anak dalam kehidupan keluarganya yaitu mengasuh anak. Banyak diantara kita para orang tua mendapatkan pengalaman dan pengetahuan mengasuh anak dari orang tua sendiri, oleh karena itu tidak heran kalau suami dan istri memiliki pandangan yang berbeda dalam mengasuh anak. Kualitas pengasuhan anak sangat diperlukan pada masa-masa perkembangan seorang anak, dibutuhkan kemampuan orang tua dalam beradaptasi pada setiap perkembangan anak artinya orang tua harus mampu mengetahui posisi dirinya di setiap tahap perkembangan anak. Pengasuhan orang tua pada saat anak usia infant tentu tidak sama ketika anak sudah berusia early childhood. Jadi pengetahuan dan pengalaman  (sebagai orang tua baru) yang didapatkan dari orang tua kita belum-lah memadai untuk melakukan pengasuhan teradap anak, oleh sebab itu wajib bagi setiap orang tua untuk terus memperbaharui pengetahuannya perihal pengasuhan anak. Pengetahuan yang perlu diperbaharui juga diantaranya mislanya style/gaya dalam mengasuh anak. Menurut Diana Baumrind ada 4 (empat) gaya dalam mengasuh anak, yaitu (Authoritarian parenting), Authoritative parenting, Neglectful parenting, Indulgent parenting. Kempat gaya tersebut biasa disebut dengan Baumrind’s Parenting Styles.

            Authoritarian parenting is a restrictive, punitive style in which parents exhort the child to follow their directions and respect their work and effort.The authoritarian parent places fi rm limits and controls on the child and allows little verbal exchange. For example, an authoritarian parent might say, “You do it my way or else.” Authoritarian parents also might spank the child frequently, enforce rules rigidly but not explain them, and show rage toward the child. Children of authoritarian parents are often unhappy, fearful, and anxious about comparing themselves with others, fail to initiate activity, and have weak communication skills. Sons of authoritarian parents may behave aggressively (Hart & others, 2003).

            Authoritative parenting encourages children to be independent but still places limits and controls on their actions. Extensive verbal give-and-take is allowed, and parents are warm and nurturant toward the child. An authoritative parent might put his arm around the child in a comforting way and say, “You know you should not have done that. Let’s talk about how you can handle the situation better next time.” Authoritative parents show pleasure and support in response to children’s constructive behavior. They also expect mature, independent, and age-appropriate behavior by children. Children whose parents are authoritative are often cheerful, self-controlled and self-reliant, and achievement oriented; they tend to maintain friendly relations with peers, cooperate with adults, and cope well with stress.

           

Neglectful parenting is a style in which the parent is very uninvolved in the child’s life. Children whose parents are neglectful develop the sense that other aspects of the parents’ lives are more important than they are. These children tend to be socially incompetent.Many have poor self-control and don’t handle independence well. They frequently have low self-esteem, are immature, and may be alienated from the family. In adolescence, they may show patterns of truancy and delinquency.

           

Indulgent parenting is a style in which parents are highly involved with their children but place few demands or controls on them. Such parents let their children do what they want. The result is that the children never learn to control their own behavior and always expect to get their way. Some parents deliberately rear their children in this way because they believe the combination of warm involvement and few restraints will produce a creative, confi dent child. However, children whose parents are indulgent rarely learn respect for others and have diffi culty controlling their behavior. They might be domineering, egocentric, noncompliant, and have diffi culties in peer relations.

Maaf saya tidak terjemahkan keempat gaya pengasuhan diatas, hal ini senghaja dilakukan untuk mengetahui bentuk kalimat asli dari sumbernya, silahkan teman-teman terjemahkan sendiri sehingga bisa mengetahui dengan benar maksud pada setiap gaya pola asuh yang dikemukakan oleh Diana Baumrind.

demikian tulisan ini dibuat mudah-mudahan bermanfat serta memberikan informasi perihal gaya dalam pengasuhan anak dalam keluarga. Untuk detil mengenai pola asuh (parenting) saya sarankan teman-teman baca buku Child Development: An Introduction yang ditulis John W. Santrock.

Sumber : John W. Santrock. Child Development thirteenth edition. Mc Graw Hill. New York. 2011. p.404-405